Boost Your Leadership with Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Discover how to enhance your leadership skills with our EQ resources. Take our FREE EQ assessment and book an EQ Masterclass workshop today!
The following is an excerpt from our July 2024 issue of Hey Leader.
Hey Leader, crafted with thought & care by The Perk, is a monthly email series all with the intention to help you lead better. You belong here!
Hey, Leader —
I was a VERY emotional child & young adult.
We’re talking about LARGE swings of emotion. One moment, I’d be the happiest person you’d ever met—a never-ending smile, laughing loudly with my friends or family & telling everyone around me how much I loved them.
Then, the pendulum would swing. Without warning, my emotions would shift & I’d have the lowest lows, complete with crying, a feeling of hopelessness & a lot of judgment for the people closest to me.
I could literally see the dread on people’s faces & how their energy & behavior towards me would change when I got into this particular state. I was filled with shame—& fear. I wasn’t doing this on purpose.
I felt totally out of control when it came to my emotions & I didn’t know why.
Every day I’d wake up & consciously think about the fact that I didn’t know when I was going to be “Happy Leah” & what might happen that would ultimately set me off (because something always seemed to set me off).
It felt like I was a piano & someone else was playing. They’d play the super-high keys, the middle range keys & the low notes—but there was no concept of what song was being played. It was a really uncomfortable time.
Understanding & managing my emotions began when I read Dr. Wayne Dyer’s famous quote:
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
It was this quote & my curiosity that started my lifelong exploration & practice of mindset work, neuroscience, self-awareness, self-regulation & metacognition. That last one—metacognition—has been explained by Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey in their book, “Build the Life You Want,” as “the act of experiencing your emotions consciously, separating from your behaviors & refusing to be controlled by them.”
In short, this meant that my emotions didn’t need to run the show. And yours don’t, either. Emotional intelligence (EQ)—the art of understanding & managing not only your emotions, but those of others—is an incredibly valuable leadership skill.
That’s not just me saying that. A recent Gallup study shows that emotional intelligence is one of the top five priorities for HR leaders, & that the demand for EQ skills will grow 6x by 2030, driven by the use of artificial intelligence.
When I talk with leaders about the traits they want to improve within their own leadership, every one of them lists a benefit of being highly emotionally intelligent: increased self-awareness. Empathy. Better communication & strengthened trust between them & their teams. Better able to adapt to challenging situations. Being able to regulate their emotions & maintain a positive, productive outlook, no matter what the situation.
If you want to increase your EQ, how do you do it? In addition to checking out the many resources below, I’ve got a few ideas:
Head to this blog over on The Perk’s website to learn more emotional intelligence & how our Trust by Design framework can help you & your teams build trust through leveling up your EQ.
Take our FREE EQ assessment to determine your own emotional intelligence baseline & get actionable insights for improvement. We’ll even send you a quick video letting you know what sticks out to us, & what to focus on to strengthen your EQ.
Book an EQ Masterclass workshop for you & your team. That’s right, your whole team can take an EQ assessment & be equipped with common language & new tools to strengthen their individual EQ, & create a more emotionally intelligent team culture. If this one’s of interest, head here to connect with one of us!
Emotions are impossible to ignore & suppress at work, or in leadership, or in life. So let’s acknowledge, feel, process, & understand them so we can use them intentionally, shall we?!?
Blink, Feel & Think!
Before we go too much further, let’s talk about the three different parts of the brain:
🧠 The reptilian part, which helps you do the stuff you don't think about: blink, breathe, & so on.
🧠 The limbic part of your brain, where your feelings & emotions are.
🧠 The Prefrontal cortex. This is where you actually think about thinking. It's the most evolved part of our brains.
You can summarize these as Blink, Feel & Think.
The goal with metacognition & managing your emotions is to move things from the limbic part of your brain to the Prefrontal cortex. If your feelings & emotions stay in your limbic brain, they’ll run the show. If they move to the Prefrontal cortex, you can consciously think about & process your emotions.
How do we get our emotions to move from “Feel” to “Think”? Here are our three biggest tips:
Journal. At The Perk, we always recommend journaling to our leadership development clients. Journaling is one of the BEST things you can do to get from “Feel” to “Think.” The act forces you to think about your feelings & process them rationally. It’s how you think about thinking!
Use the Thought Model. The Thought Model, derived from cognitive behavioral psychology, teaches us that we have circumstances in our life & work that are out of our control. It’s our thoughts about those circumstances that drive the way we feel, the actions we take & ultimately, the results we get. Head here for a deep dive into the Thought Model.
Work with an EQ Coach. Coaching is all about deepening self-awareness. EQ coaches (like us!) help you assess your current state when it comes to the five core EQ elements & co-create an Emotional Intelligence Development Plan to turn ideas into action.
As always, we love hearing whether a #PerkProTip we’ve suggested has worked for you. Don’t hesitate to let us know!
What's The Perk saying?
Our media selections this month focus on ways to build develop emotional awareness & regulation for yourself & social situations.
10 min watch
5 min read
55 min watch
What's our community saying?
We’re always soaking in the latest news & insights on culture, organizational development, & leadership. This month’s resources focus on empowering you & your teams to build those emotional awareness & regulation muscles!
10 min read
Resource Group
29 min listen
The Conversation Factory podcastDr. Laurie Santos | The Happiness Lab podcast
4 min watch
Shirzad Chamine | Stanford eCorner
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About The Perk
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The skills your leaders need today are very different from the ones they needed 5 years ago. We equip leaders with the skills they need to confidently & effectively lead their teams now & going forward.
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