Powerful & Effective 1:1’s: How to Design your 1:1’s to Maximize Connection & Results
60% of workers say that 1:1’s build trust faster than anything else at an organization. Why? Because it’s intentional time that you’re spending connecting & forming a relationship with another person. It’s a time for curiosity, listening, learning, & trust building. It’s a time to see them, hear them, & value them. It’s a time to demonstrate that you care about them both personally & professionally.
In addition to connection & trust building, 1:1’s are also an important time for you to coach your employees for development. To help them get unstuck, make progress, & grow. 1:1’s are NOT a time for boring status updates. They’re a time to explore, learn, gain clarity, & commit to action that will move the needle at your organization.
1:1’s are a time to check in with your employees on their goals. As a leader, you have the absolute privilege & opportunity to be your teammates’ accountability partner, cheerleader, champion, coach, & activator. I tell my team all the time that I will celebrate the crap out of them & tell them how amazing they are, because they are, but I will also hold a high bar of excellence for them because they have incredible potential, & I know they can do it. I celebrate them every step of the way, & also hold their feet to the fire to achieve incredible results.
“Think 1:1’s are a waste of time? Then you’re doing them wrong.”
If you’re a brand new people leader & running 1:1’s for the first time, these tips will help you hit the ground running & get your 1:1’s right from the getgo.
If you’re a seasoned people leader whose been doing 1:1’s for years, these tips will help you take your 1:1’s to the next level, & balance belonging with results.
Are you ready!?! Let’s run the best 1:1’s in the world:
1. Clarify the Purpose of your 1:1’s
Before you just dive in & start doing 1:1’s, take a step back to clarify what the purpose of 1:1’s are for YOU, & what you want the impact of them to be for your team. To help you clarify the purpose:
Step 1: Reflect – Think of a time in your career when you had an incredible 1:1 with your leader. What made it so great? What did your leader do?
Then, think of terrible 1:1’s, or ‘mediocre at best’ 1:1’s - what made them awful or just meh? What did your leader do, or not do? What did YOU do, or not do, that got those results?
Step 2: Visualize – You just completed a 1:1 with a direct report & it was INCREDIBLE. You both feel connected, trust was strengthened, they became unstuck, & are clear on next steps, & taking action to move the company forward. What happened to create these results? What behaviors did you exhibit as a leader? What behaviors did they exhibit? What was discussed? What was the feeling in the room during the 1:1?
Step 3: Clarify Impact – What do YOU want the impact of your 1:1’s to be? What do you want to happen as a result? No one is forcing you to do them – so why are they important to YOU?! (psst – if you need some inspo, look at the first few paragraphs of this article for why they are important to us at The Perk!).
While there are no hard & fast rules for the purpose of 1:1’s, there are some guidelines I would suggest: 1:1’s are not the time for pure status updates. It’s also not the time to bring up really important issues that should have been solved earlier – your team should not be waiting until their 1:1’s to ask important questions that help them move their work forward. As a leader, you should create & hold space for both personal & professional time during your 1:1’s. Here’s the purpose of our 1:1’s here at The Perk:
We believe in having weekly 1:1’s between employees & their direct leaders. This is a time for developing relationships AND skills, deepening connection, & checking in on goals/progress.
There is space for both personal & professional time during your 1:1’s. You are welcome to bring up any area of your life during your 1:1’s that you want to talk through with your leader.
Your leader will also check in with you on your goals - they are there to be your accountability partner, to activate you, support you, & celebrate you!
2. Intentionally Structure your 1:1’s with 10-80-10
10 – Connect & Big Picture: The first 10% of the 1:1 will be focused on connecting & discussing big picture items. It’s always better to start big picture & work your way down into the details (start by looking at the whole forest, then move down into the trees). People think clearer & more thoughtfully this way. Think of it like parachuting down gracefully into the forest.
Connect on personal & professional topics – ask big picture questions such as:
What does it feel like to be you today?
What’s one thing you’re celebrating right now?
How is the work you’re doing contributing to the vision/mission of the team & org.?
What talents of yours am I not utilizing but should be?
What are we doing well as a team? What could we be doing better?
80 – Explore & Learn: Your team will prepare for their 1:1’s by filling out a session prep form (see Step #3 below). It is not your job as the leader to run the 1:1 or “present” to them. They should be self-reflective & come prepared for what they want to talk about to make movement. This does NOT mean that if there is something you need to bring to their attention that you don’t do it – as the leader, you need to do what you believe is right to help your employee make movement. Sometimes that means shining light on a blind spot, or having a hard conversation.
Less is better here – what's the ONE thing that will really help make movement or an impact for the individual? Focus there.
10 – Commit & Celebrate: Each 1:1 should end with a commitment for action. What are they going to take from their learning during the session & put into action? What will the impact of that action be for them personally, the team, & the org.? This is a Coaching strategy – if there is no commitment for action, then you’ve just had a nice conversation with someone. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but for the 1:1 to be true coaching, there must be a commitment for action – something that the employee is going to do (or stop doing) in order to make positive change in their lives & for the team. In my experience, people are the most fulfilled when you’ve taken time to both connect AND help them commit to action in a 1:1.
At The Perk we also take time at the end to celebrate by asking “what do you want to celebrate about yourself from today?” Or, I celebrate them, & share why.
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SIGN UP3. Have your Team Prepare for their 1:1’s:
Often in my career I’ve heard leaders & employees say that they think 1:1’s are a waste of time. And my response to that? If you feel that it’s a waste of time, then you’re doing it wrong. One of the mistakes I see people making is not preparing for the 1:1. This often leads to both leader & employee feeling like their time is better spent elsewhere. Have your team prepare for 1:1’s by completing a prep form at least 24 hours in advance. It’s a time for them to reflect on the progress they’ve made in between sessions, & also get clear on what they want to discuss during their 1:1.
Below is an example of the 1:1 Prep Form prompts we use at The Perk. Feel free to copy them, or edit them to fit your leadership brand. Ask questions that are important to you, your team, & the culture you’re creating!
What I have accomplished since our last 1:1:
The impact of those accomplishments:
The challenges & problems I’m facing now:
One thing I’m celebrating right now:
One thing I failed at recently, how I reacted & what I learned:
The opportunities in front of me now:
How I want to use this 1:1:
As my Leader, it’s important for you to know:
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Jump in, indulge, enjoy, & have some fun with this!
Pssst...I LOVE connecting with & growing my community! Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn - see you there! 🤗
